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For my money, there’s nothing more boring in the wide world of sports than soccer. I know it’s allegedly the world’s game but I just don’t get it. It’s 90 minutes of people running up and down a field kicking a ball and the final score is 1-0. I’m a red-blooded ‘Merican, give me the NFL any day. And as the comedian Gallagher once said, “any game where the ball hits you on the head on purpose is dumb.”

For those reasons I’ve never had much interest in soccer’s biggest event, the World Cup. Until now:

“Larissa Riquelme, a curvy lingerie model who loves her national team, has been cheering the Paraguay squad on from Asuncion, clad in revealing outfits. The 24-year-old beauty has pledged to run naked through the streets “with my body painted with the colors of Paraguay” if Paraguay wins the World Cup.”

To the best of my recollection, this is the only time in my life that I wanted to be a cell phone.

Go Paraguay!